Honestly, I promised myself that after I wrote my (supposed to be) last entry which is Dope in Love v.2 would be my last post for the month but since I feel so lost about my life I decided to write this.
Is there any moment in your life that you eventually lost your confidence to yourself? Perhaps your answer is yes. But can you merely imagine the life of a person who always think that he's worthless, a failure and just good for nothing? Maybe you can't easily understand the life of a pessimist.
Yes, I considered myself as one  and I get sick of it most of the time. I always asked myself why am I so negative as if all I can see is my mistakes and flaws. I grew up with a low self esteem and I get used to that but somehow it gives me a tiring feeling to live.

Being a pessimist has never been so easy. There are a lot of times where you just give up to anticipate the future ahead you, times when even yourself  stopped believing in your own capabilities and strength and these are the things that I need to faced everyday. Just for once I want to face life with positive outlook without thinking all the negative side of it. For once I wish that I can be a good confidant to myself just like I deal with other people. For once I just want to get rid of this negativity. A lot of times wherein I'm scared to try other things, I'm always in the shadow of my comfort zone. A person who is scared to explore the reality of world. A person who has a lot of insecurities. A person that sees all the imperfection. A person that believes she can't do it. And a person who never appreciates her existence- that's me. A girl who is unworthy and eventually swallow by her flaws and shortcomings.

Though I may have this kinds of traits I'm always there to cheer and support other people. I can be their confidant in times of struggle and be the person that will going to boost their confidence whenever they feel so down. And that is the saddest part, yes I can help my friends, family and all the people closest to my heart but why can't I even give that to myself?
But perhaps someday I'll have the confidence to stand for myself.

I also dedicate this post to all the pessimist out there. (Just keep the faith guys and we can survive).

PS: Maybe I'm in the midst of depression? (kidding but it's not impossible though)

Tomorrow is the 14th day of the month. What's so special about February 14 and why is it so anticipated day for some? Is it their Birthday or what? Nah, it's Valentines day and as a gift I posted this entry to make you feel how miserable you are without a special someone that will bring you out on a date. Kidding, it's the other way around. Tutulungan ko pa nga kayo maging masaya hahaha.
Btw speaking of valentines date so what if you don't have any? or you haven't received any roses, chocolates or stuffed toys? Is your happiness depends on it? Hindi naman diba, ano naman kung icece-celebrate mong mag isa ang araw na yan. After all it's just a day and obviously you can still enjoy it with your own company or you asked your parents and your family on a date, spend some hang outs with your friends. Valentines day is for everyone, it's not just for couples. Bakit kung may girlfriend or boyfriend ba ang isang tao yun lang ang nagmamahal?Hell no, even you are single you can still feel the love that you can give to your family, friends,pets or even yourself. And that's the essence of Justin Bieber's song "Love Yourself" ok let's laugh.

Just like the first version of this Dope in Love entry I'll still give a particular scenario that shows how fool you are when it comes to love and as we all know we want to get rid of that? Sino ba naman kasi ang gustong magpaka (excuse for the term) tanga forever? Wala naman eh so might as well start to put up a plan in dealing with some various issues about your love life.

• Just FRIENDS. Nothing more, nothing less

If you are actually starting to consider yourself as a part of "that infamous zone" which is the FRIENDZONE then congratulations, welcome to our clan (hahaha). Falling in love or having a special feelings towards your friend is insanely complicated thing to talked about. It's hard to express what you feel towards that person because you might not ready to know about his side, what he/she feels towards your confession, you're scared that maybe a lot of things will going to change especially the friendship that you have, or maybe you don't want to sacrifice that countless of years that you are together and your strong bond. You know each other's happiness, sadness, what make's you smile or cry, your favorite past time, hobbies, movies and other reasons why does it so hard to fall towards a friend. Not anyone are lucky enough when it comes in dealing with this friendzone, some of them were became happy and the rest remains broken and hopeless. There are some ways on how will you get rid of that weary feeling.
- Accept the fact that he doesn't feel the same way. Settled your emotion and saved the friendship that you have.
- Don't expect too much. Right from the start you need to assert yourself not to expect anything like maybe he also feels the same way, maybe there's a chance between the two of you. One piece of advice: don't give yourself a false hope.
-There are some instance that your friend started to love someone else, I know it may be hard but accept it wholeheartedly and don't let yourself and your friendship ruin by sorrow. Don't be bitter and learn to accept the fact that he's not really for you.

• What if's....

What if there's a chance for the both of us?
What if we try to save our relationship?
What if he/she still loves me?
What if I swallow my pride and forget the past?
What if I beg him to stay?

Still stuck in that what if's doesn't help you to move on and just add up with the pain and sorrow that you feel. Don't let those questions invades your mind and eventually your heart. One of the hindrance of letting go is that you just give your self a chance, a guess, full of what if's that there's a second chance to make things right. Don't try to win him back to the point that you'll beg or pleased him to stay, love is not a reason to lower your pride it's for you to uplift yourself and learn to move on without him.Love yourself first before you give your too much love to someone.

• Infatuation or Love

Sometimes people considered it as a similar factors. They may think that what they feel is love not knowing it's just an infatuation. There's a misconception between the difference of the two. You need to get to know more that person before you commit yourself into a serious relationship. Knowing his personality, you shared the same beliefs, you got to know more each other and you both have a mutual understanding with your feelings for each other but it doesn't mean that it's already love. Always remember that you need to hundred percent think on what you feel and before you go to the next level of your relationship. Don't attached yourself too much to a person. Learn to put a limitation in between your relationship and assert what's your real status.

• Why am I still single?

So what if you're single for a long time or you haven't been to a relationship ever? Hindi na bale kung single ka, ang importante may silbi ka sa ekonomiya ng bansa ganern. No seriously, being a certified NBSB or NGSB doesn't define your existence as a person. So what if you don't have a partner as long as you're happy and contented with your life yan naman ang mahalaga. And don't get tired of waiting for a person that will going to love you I know it might be odd but I believed in that "Tamang Panahon" cause I know there is. We all have that right time/moment for a right person and a right love. So don't lose hope dadating yan sa tamang panahon.

Hope you got something with this entry- Dope in Love version 2.0 :) Enjoy your valentines with your special someone, family, friends and with your own. Just like what I've said don't be bitter and look at the positive outlook in life. Happy Valentines everyone. 

This is how I get rid of boredom. When I can't think of a way on how will I spend my night so productive then this idea pops-up into my mind, a simple past time with myself and my cellphone. So honestly I spent an hour with this sort of "photoshoot" using my phone's camera and yeah I took countless of selfies.

Having a lot of worries, stress moments, lack of sleep and very exhausting days can actually ruin your mood and forget to appreciate the beauty of life well in that case, I actually want to said it for myself and I'm always hoping for a vacation and relaxation wherein I can vent out my stress. Yesterday, me and my group mates who also happens to be my friends visited Subic and Bataan for our travel magazine requirement in our print production class and I must say it was really an unforgettable moment. One of the perks of having this kind of project is that we can actually have our reasons or even a sort of alibi to our parents to pull out our travel plans in short gumala. Ever since we were just planning the whole idea for our travel magazine/ Subic trip I couldn't hide my excitement to pull-out our plans and the mere fact that I'm really happy to visit the beach. As far as I can remember, the last time I went to a beach was during our summer vacation in Batangas last year with my family and I was not in the mood to enjoy that excursion because I was still in my concert hangover during that time. And also it's my first time to visit Subic with my friends that actually add-up with the excitement.

So I celebrated my Birthday yesterday and yes I'm already 19 (feel so old ugh). Actually I had my pre-Birthday celebration last Friday because some of my friends were not allowed on Saturday,which is my actual Birthday, but it was fine. I just invited my closest college friends and high school best friends but sadly some of them have their evening classes so they couldn't make it and Allison had her site visit in Tagaytay so she wasn't able to attend. It was just a mini-celebration at our residence actually my plan was to celebrate it outside but since it was the decision of the parental I need to approved with it. Honestly, I really feel sad and weary these past few days so I didn't feel the enjoyment and happiness on celebrating my Birthday. My friends kept on asking me if i'm fine and maybe it was a lie when I kept on saying that i'm ok.

Reminder: It's a major throwback so please bear with me and this is nothing to do with a song (same title lang).